The word “change” is one of my least favorites. Even as a self-described logophile – a lover of words – I have little affection for this single-syllable saboteur of normal life. Sometimes just hearing it induces anxiety, but since the COVID-19 pandemic, it seems like more has changed than stayed the same. And that includes the refilling of my empty nest, where quiet and calm have been replaced by cabin fever and chaos.
It’s no secret: change is hard.
The scientific reason why we tend to avoid change like it is an infectious disease is known as “repetition compulsion.” The human brain is essentially hardwired to repeat past behaviors. Our minds relish the status quo because it often feels safer than charting an unknown course. Going against the norm opposes established neuropathways that compel people to continue doing what they’ve always done. Simply put, sticking with what we know is biologically ingrained in us.
But for most people, taking a rain check on change isn’t an option right now. Work, school and daily life are dramatically different than they were just a few weeks ago. Trying to cope with so much disruption at once is no small undertaking.
Constant change is the new normal.
My two little birds left the nest in August 2018. The transition was difficult, as it is for so many parents whose brood takes the next step into adulthood. Even my husband’s job at our family’s rural farm kept him and our dog out of town most nights. But over the past 18 months, I got used to quiet evenings without homework, not cooking dinner every night, not washing mounds of dishes and laundry, working out whenever I wanted, and doing practically anything I felt like without a group discussion. Life was glorious and exceptionally clean.
Then the family came back, and now it looks like the Tasmanian devil has been sheltering in place with us. All our routines changed seemingly overnight, which is one of the aspects that makes big transitions the hardest: not having advance notice.
No matter what theoretical model of change management you subscribe to, they all emphasize that early and ongoing communication is crucial to successful transformations. Inherently, pandemics don’t allow for that necessary time to prepare and adjust.
My kids certainly weren’t prepared to finish the semester virtually or be barred from returning to campus to get their belongings. And I definitely wasn’t ready to help them complete college coursework from home or start making dinner every night, not to mention quadrupling the amount of laundry, dishes and trash that must be managed. It felt like I was flying through a storm with no flight plan, no GPS and an inebriated pilot.
Give yourself some slack.
Trying to work from home for the first time, keeping up with kids’ schoolwork and making sense of our new coronavirus world is a monumental effort for the human mind.
Since we can only fully concentrate on one thing at a time, learning new skills, habits or processes means directing attention away from other activities. This phenomenon is why change management professionals advise against trying to adopt a whole bunch of new changes at once. Our cognitive abilities have their limits, so it is no mystery why many of us are struggling to cope in the era of COVID.
Across the globe, humans are establishing new neuropathic ways to deal with our novel reality. It’s taxing, and there will inevitably be some setbacks among the successes.
For my own homestead, we are using change management principles to help with our new living environment. Communication is key among the tactics. When it started to feel like I was Cinderella handling all the household chores, I gave my family a two-week notice that they would be expected to start contributing. Then, I gave them regular reminders that the new routine was approaching and reassured them that I was here to help. It worked! On day one, I came out of my office after the millionth Zoom meeting that morning to find my son loading the dishwasher. We still have a long way to go, but in that moment, I realized how lucky I was to have my heart and previously empty nest filled with family.
Pandemics aside, maybe this change thing isn’t so bad after all.
About the Author
Jennifer Byrd is a marketing writer and communications strategist who recently opened her own practice in the Oklahoma City area. She previously worked in public relations and at a human resources software firm, where she focused on change management and technology adoption. A five-time ADDY ® Award winner, Jennifer is passionate about developing creative content that converts prospects into loyal customers.
She is a first-generation graduate of the University of Central Oklahoma with a bachelor’s degree in strategic communications and a minor in marketing. Jennifer is the programming chair for the OKC chapter of the Association for Women in Communications.
