Closing the Pay Gap – Starting with “Thank You”

 

Let’s start with an exercise – a simple “thank you.”

Pair yourself with a fellow, professional woman. Let her know the only way she can respond to what you say is with the words “thank you.” Then, give her a compliment. It can be about a project, a recent comment in a meeting, or an article of clothing. Nine times out of 10, she will pause before she responds.

Many women talk about how difficult it is not to dodge compliments in order to draw attention away from themselves. A desire to downplay perceived vanity leads to answers that begin with phases such as “It was a team effort,” “I had great help,” or even the cliché “This old thing?”

Women are socialized to collaborate, commiserate, and empathize. Though these qualities add a great deal to any work environment, when it comes to negotiating for themselves – especially for money – woman are left out of the equation.

Women Don’t Ask

“Women don’t ask. They don’t ask for raises or promotions and better job opportunities,” wrote Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever in the book Women Don’t Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide (Princeton University Press: 2003). “They don’t ask for recognition of the good work they do. They don’t ask for more help at home. In other words, women are much less likely to use negotiation to get what they want.”

Negotiation has long been considered “the province of men,” noted Babcock and Laschever, meaning men tend to use negotiation and one-upmanship in everything from conversation to friendly competition (A great resource on this Deborah Tannen’s book You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation). Men’s comfort with everyday negotiation translates easily to the workplace. Women, on the other hand, are socialized from a young age to feel uncomfortable jockeying for position. They are encouraged instead to be team players or supporters, and face being penalized when they veer from that zone. A great example of the different expectations for males and females in society and business can be seen in the 2013 commercial “A Man is a Boss. A Woman is Bossy.”

Close the Pay Gap

These abstract ideas have a concrete cost. Studies from the American Association of University Women (AAUW) show that the pay gap between men and women is increasing. In 2017, for every dollar a white male made, white women made 79 cents with the same job requirements and experience. African American women only made 63 cents on the dollar, and Hispanic or Latina women made a dismal 54 cents for every dollar a white man earned. This disparity adds up over a career to a loss of hundreds of thousands of dollars (See the 20 Percent Counts Campaign by LeanIn.Org).

A way women can overcome this disparity is to be aware of their socialized tendency not to ask or consider their work a commodity worth value. When it comes to praise at work, don’t deflect. Accept praise and understand that it does not amount to bragging to do so.

Don’t Back Down

When it comes time to negotiate – for salary, for duties, for position – a key is to come prepared. If it is for salary, know salaries of positions comparable in market and experience. Salary scales can easily be found on sites such as Salary.com and PayScale.com. Have a baseline of how low you can go, and stick to it. Employers do tend to ask where you found your figures. Share it with them.

The AAUW advises those negotiating to remain positive, adding, “It’s a conversation, not a battle.” Often people will advise women not to “take it personally” with negotiation. Though it is tough not to think of salary as a personal statement about success and the stability of family, employers who have had a lifetime of negotiation see salary negotiation as a separate skill from job performance. In this vein, employers tend to award raises based on the potential of future actions, not rewards for past work. Arguing for a raise based on past project success rarely works. Arguing that past project success is a strong determiner for where the employee can take company in the future often lands better.

Don’t forget the “yes, and” rule. An academic, Babcock related the story of a male colleague who was asked shortly before the year began to take on teaching a loathed 100-level course. He agreed, as long as he did not have to teach it for the next two years. He gave his employers a “yes” with the caveat of his own that equaled the “and.”

Women don’t ask. We’re told – in so many ways – not to ask. But if we do not ask, we are selling ourselves and the next generation of women short. Women must find the courage to draw the line, stand against the expectations of society, and work to close inequality in pay. And it will take courage, but it can begin with something as simple as “thank you.”

---

About the Author

Rachel Hatch, CCP, is the Assistant Director of Media Relations at Illinois State University. She works closely with the campus administration to craft messages, and employs her writing and editing skills to promote the work and achievements of faculty, staff, and students. Joining AWC in 2000, Rachel shares a deep belief in the empowerment of women inside and outside of the workplace. Her favorite phrase is “There is no such thing as the work-life balance. There is only life. To deny that is to make yourself sea sick on a see-saw of society’s making.” Rachel is also currently active in Leadership Illinois, an organization that promotes realizing leadership potential in women across the state. She holds a B.A. in journalism and an M.A. in American history from Western Illinois University. She received her Certified Communications Professional designation from The Matrix Foundation in 2016.